“C’est la vie”, say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell.

you’re not hardcore unless you live hardcore

and the legend

of the sax

is way hardcore

Me on the phone: Yeah I’m going to be late to work today.

Supervisor: Why?

Me: There’s a cat gang bang happening on top of my car.

Supervisor: (silence)

Supervisor: Well can’t you break it up?

Me: Who am I to break up a cat gang bang? They’ve probably been organizing it for days on Craigslist.

Supervisor: Good point. See you when you get here.

30secondstonarnia:

#Johnny Depp #can call Robert Downey ‘Bob’ #you can’t call him Bob cause you don’t know him #but Johnny Depp can

Emma Stone | the launch of the new Revlon Lash Potion Mascara on the Walgreens jumbotron (April 24, 2013)

okayophelia:

Have you seen him cook? It’s an entire performance.

#also this is it: this is the proof that we are Hannibal’s dinner guests #a banquet of human flesh cooked into even the wine itself #fed to unsuspecting fools prone to watching the melodrama of perfectly-trained voices and melodramatic performance #Hannibal’s existence is an opera #one sad impossible story after another #crafted into violence and tragedy - retold again and again in high fashion #he life is narrated by Mozart’s Requiem and it seems hilarious and overwrought but it never seems truly ridiculous #they could narrate with Faust - give him the devil’s lines - and it would not seem ridiculous #because Hannibal as a character is an uncomfortable European import who doesn’t quite fit into our society #but who people like to think that they have cultivated and befriended and understood #and shelved as an achievement #(see: Franklin’s behavior) #and because Hannibal as a story is all vainglorious performance and emotional manipulation and luxurious retellings and meta-jokes#and blood that arcs high and true and red #Hannibal is an opera #and we are the audience who devours his works #at a long square table #sitting across from people we will not ever truly know #We are the audience and we are the meat #We are the consumers and we are the art (neverfeedthesarcophagi)